“Cheer up”, two words that are unlikely to achieve their intended outcome. There’s nothing worse than somebody trying to enthuse another with baseless sentiment. Just saying it doesn’t make you anymore inclined to quit your state of melancholy, stress or anger; if anything you’re more likely to keep heading in the opposite direction. My point? I dislike enforced positivity. I can and will cite several obvious examples, (Big Society, Chris Akabusi, Anthea Turner), and I’m sure you can think of more which illustrate the point. All fine examples of a stated positivity which is in fact, lacking. But where’s the relevance? This is a biscuit blog, not a place for subjective posturing and, never fear, I’m getting to it. I recently received another gift; as is common when operating on the very forefront of biscuit based research. People can be very generous. And I’m pleased to say they looked absolutely delightful.
After getting over the initial rush of excitement, I began to study the gift with the increasingly critical view of a scientist.
Where to begin? The packaging is gratuitous, absolutely enormous, (this will satisfy a lot of happy faces), and states in large copy that it ‘contains raspberries’. Already you begin to wonder what Jacob’s are trying to hide by proclaiming fruit content, speculating as to what the rest of the biscuit is made from. Foul play is always evident whenever this sort of thing creeps up, as it must be said, biscuits aren’t intended as a substitute for a healthy diet.
Also, while we’re on the point of Jacob’s, what are they doing making biscuits in the first place? I love their crackers, don’t get me wrong. They have played host to many a fine cheese in my time, (Cathedral City, Red Leicester, Double Gloucester), the essential linchpin at the end of an evening of fine dining. They do not however, have a place next to my coffee, drying up the place, devoid of cheese, lacking in both form and function. So what are their attempts at making a biscuit like I hear you ask?
On balance I would have to say, mixed. There are lots of them, which is always a good start, and you can’t go too far wrong with raspberry jam and cream, but I wasn’t exactly blown away. The biscuit itself was dry, crumbly to the extent of annoyance, and the filling made my teeth hurt after about biscuit 7. It must be said that there isn’t anything wrong with them per se, but I couldn’t claim any great enthusiasm.
And what about the name? The enforced positivity? I began to rather resent the packaging after the second biscuit and, as I became steadily more disappointed, it further grated to the detriment of the taste. In short – I do not have a happy face. 🙂 = 😦